Letter from Marc
Dano,
Hello. I am at work today for much of the day. The number is 555-534-6810.
Call me when you get this message. OR, if I'm not there, try my car phone
at 555-509-3544. If that doesn't work, page me at 555-663-8911. If you
stil can't get a hold of me, it means that I'm at home at 555-583-0838. If
nobody answers, try to call my roommate at 555-583-0064. If he's not home,
use morse code, flashing red and blue lights, high pitched sirens, or smoke
signals. If none of those work, call the police and have them trace my
previous phone calls and emails. I also have LOJACK for my car that they
can use to find my whereabouts. Attached to my ankle is an electronic
tracking device that sends a pulsating signal to a central database that can
then dispatch a team of blood hounds to search for my body, which could
potentially be nothing more than a festering, rotting carcass being nipped
at by ruthless swamp vultures at this point. As a last resort, call Intel
in California because they imbedded a chip in the heads of all babies born
between 1969 and 1974, and those chips send homing signals back to them. I
was one of those babies.
Embrace technology. Be scared of the future. Let's get shitty tonight.
Call me. Bye.
Marc